Break the Rule Pretend You Don't Matter - First Challenge

Care for Yourself

Welcome to your first challenge

You had enough curiosity and openness of mind to take the Rule Finder Quiz, and perhaps you’ve discovered that you’ve been following the rule, Pretend You Don’t Matter. Now you’re ready to explore what you can do about it.

You’re in the right place.

Humans are born with dignity and self-worth.

We come into the world with an innate connection to our value, the rightness of our existence, and the instincts to pursue what keeps us healthy and whole.

That dignified part of ourselves knows we should take care of ourselves.

Many of us, however, have grown up with models for self-care. We’ve seen parents, care-givers, teachers, and authority figures abuse their own well-being and health under the guise of a strong work ethic, sometimes even commenting that our existence is what drives them to neglect themselves to “keep food on the table.” As a result, some of us feel guilty about taking care of ourselves when others claim to have suffered to do that for us.

The truth is, Pretending You Don’t Matter, is the quickest way to numb your capacity to make a difference in the world. Because disconnecting from our needs requires that we disconnect from our feelings, and it’s those very feelings that inform us about what’s worth serving, defending, and preserving.

Pretend You Don’t Matter has become an unfortunate substitute for dignity, a tarnished badge of honor that is then passed from generation to generation, distancing us from the quality of well-being that would allow us to stay tuned to the needs of others, because we’ve refused the needs of ourself.

Want to break the rule Pretend You Don’t Matter and improve your resilience?

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Here’s the Challenge

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Care for yourself

This simple challenge for breaking the rule Pretend You Don’t Matter will help you bridge the gap from self-neglect to self-care.

Pull out your favorite writing tool to engage this quick exercise.

You’re going to complete three open-ended statements about your care for yourself.

The statement prompts are:

• The ways I know I’m not taking care of myself are . . .

• The one area of self-care I’m neglecting that most impacts my ability to care for others or to contribute to worthwhile endeavors in my life is . . .

• One small change I could make in my habits, schedule or behavior that would improve my self care would be . . .

Give yourself the time and space to go into as much detail as you wish in answering each of these. There is no right response in terms of length, content, or clarity. Simply let yourself explore the question and record what arises. This is just for you to reconnect to your own needs and discover what your body is telling you.

Just explore what’s there for you.

If you’re reading this on the go and want to work with the challenge later, just use the share button to send a copy of the challenge to your own email address.

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Thank you

Want more challenges like this?

If you enjoyed this first challenge and you’d like to see a few more sample challenges for breaking the rule Pretend You Don’t Matter and embracing your worth—just click the button below.

Welcome again, and if I can be of any help, please let me know by replying to your welcome email or any other email sent to you from Break a Rule.

Rick Lewis
Professional Misbehaver &
Break a Rule Founder