Unsubscribe Failure, Communication Is a Perpetually Rotting Bridge, How I Broke the Rule "Stay in Control" & This Week's Challenges
Break a Rule Newsletter # 6
Unsubscribe Failure 📧
Last week, I invited you to unsubscribe if inspiration for taking better and more frequent risks is not something you want for yourself.
I was nervous about making that explicit invitation, assuming that being specific and exclusive about my focus here would get a bunch of you to go away.
I failed.
1 out of 625 recipients unsubscribed.
So let’s try again.
I’ll start by reminding you of my qualifications, and the fact that as a subscriber you’ll be bombarded with professional growth advice by a hippy juggler who dropped out of university, wet the bed until the age of 12 because he was too scared to walk down a short hallway at night, and who— despite his 61 years of an opportunity to make a worthwhile contribution to humanity—counts the overfilling of the water glasses for CEOs as his crowning achievement.
That should do it.
The offer still stands for you to make a no-hard-feelings departure if you have doubts about where this Break a Rule project is headed. I can only promise that risks will be taken—not that any of them will work.
Still here, huh?
Well then, you must whole-heartedly believe that risk is an essential ingredient on your own path to success, and also fully accept that it may lead to the complete ruin of your reputation, (nobody knows which will come first).
But guess what that means?
You actually have to practice risk-taking in your life.
I admit, sometimes entertaining new ideas in the form of reading about them is a useful way of seeding new action—eventually I mean, not right now of course, but at a time when you might have a minute, to maybe, kind of, take a small step in the direction of, sort of, trying something new, ya know, like if, and when, you feel like it.
But here’s what is 3162% better.
Establishing the habit of playing, experimenting, and discovering more in your life by consistently taking small risks.
Because all of us have a little “stop gremlin” 😈 inside of us that is always going to throw a slimy, wriggling, stop reason 🛑 at our brain the moment we consider acting on something that feels a little risky.
You know, like the time you found the toothpaste cap sitting next to the tube long after your beloved had left the bathroom and you considered just replacing it without saying anything, and then the stop gremlin screamed inside your head, “Wait, you might DIE if you don’t remind them immediately that the toothpaste cap must be immediately replaced at all times!”
And then you complied.
And pretty much that gremlin is running our lives by unconsciously causing us to build our lives around rule-bound behavior that makes us feel safe, but also perpetuates the small results we’ve been stuck with for so long.
Break a Rule is a consistent invitation for you to prioritize micro-dares in your life.
We’re talking playful planned peril.
And I’m making it super easy for you by supplying 7 challenges below, one of which is perfectly suited to where you’re at in your growth journey. (Which you can discover by taking the Risk Finder Quiz.)
Communication Is a Perpetually Rotting Bridge🐊
Speaking of “playful planned peril” — let’s talk about marriage.
You don’t have to be actually legally married to another person to consider this, because we all have at least a few metaphorical marriages—relationships with other humans that involve a degree of commitment.
Unfortunately, commitment sooner or later requires vulnerable and honest communication—which many of us pursue with about as much enthusiasm as we seek opportunities to clean public toilets for no pay.
My wife and I were recently on an African safari trip where our tour guide abandoned us in the middle of the jungle, forcing us to tip-toe our way over a rotting suspension bridge that was dangling over an alligator infested river.
Okay wait, I’m wrong.
We were actually just sitting in the living room.
But we were attempting to have a reasonable adult conversation about who should put the dishes away, who is bearing the brunt of homeschooling our kid, and why dust-balls the size of Massachusetts remain invisible to me.
It just felt like we were precariously dangling over blood-thirsty reptiles.
After 19 years of marriage it’s still not easy for me to break the rule “Stay in Control” in order to actually listen to the experience of my partner, refrain from preparing my next sentence while she’s speaking, and openly consider that an alien being might not have taken over her logic center in the middle of the night.
In times like these, I make a bee-line for a simple practice, like Give Up Your Rights, (challenge # 2) for breaking the rule “Stay in Control.”
In our conversation I found myself inwardly complaining that my partner doesn’t see all the things I do for our family, and I was ready and eager to provide numerous examples to back up my claim so I could be RIGHT about that, and . . .
Well, I won’t bore you with the details, since being right is never something you’d personally put in the way of connecting vulnerably with your partner. So just trust me when I say that it takes vigilance, attention, and practice to avoid becoming food for the crocodiles of one’s mind.
My point is that the communication bridge is always rotting.
The disintegrating planks of self-protection and emotional safety always need to be patched, repaired, and reinforced with authentic expression, honest self-awareness, and the willingness to risk being visible in our humanness.
And working on that bridge isn’t just relevant to our significant others.
It’s just as important to preserve human communication with your colleagues, customers, friends, and the Fiji-based call center agent who is inexplicably the person you must speak to as you attempt to book a local haircut.
This Week’s Challenges 🏋️♂️
Below are 7 unique risk-taking challenges that are designed to help you break each of the 7 rules.
If you haven’t already taken the Risk Finder Quiz, make sure you do that now so you’ll know which challenge will most benefit your growth.
Once you’ve identified your lowest scoring rule with the quiz, find that rule below and read the challenge.
And then, if you’re brave, actually take the risk.
Taking small-risk action is like investing in Bill Gates while he’s still playing around in his garage. The dividends you’ll eventually receive are going to be stratospheric.
But don’t delay.
These challenges will remain unlocked for this week only. Last week’s challenges are now behind the paywall for paying subscribers only.
Here are the challenges:
Break the Rule Be Normal
Break the Rule Avoid Mistakes
Break the Rule Be Independent
Break the Rule Stay Comfortable
Break the Rule Pretend You Don’t Matter
Break the Rule Stay in Control
Break the Rule Be Popular
That’s it for now.
Let’s break some rules this week.
And don’t forget, leaving a comment on one of these challenges is itself a very useful risk. It helps you become more articulate and skilled in communicating about the risk-taking realm, and sends up a flair to like-minded professionals about where they can find another intelligent misbehaver.
Game On.
Rick
BTW - If anyone you know is planning a business event and it’s sounding like it will be about as much fun as an arctic beach-party, send them my way.
Oh. The suggestion to Unsubscribe was for YOUR newsletter? Why would I?
But I followed the instructions, did the task, and am 7 newsletters lighter this week! Now for the slower read to dissect which of your other challenges I will take on this week, Rick!