Unsubscribe Failure 📧

Last week, I invited you to unsubscribe if inspiration for taking better and more frequent risks is not something you want for yourself.

I was nervous about making that explicit invitation, assuming that being specific and exclusive about my focus here would get a bunch of you to go away.

I failed.

1 out of 625 recipients unsubscribed.

So let’s try again.

I’ll start by reminding you of my qualifications, and the fact that as a subscriber you’ll be bombarded with professional growth advice by a hippy juggler who dropped out of university, wet the bed until the age of 12 because he was too scared to walk down a short hallway at night, and who— despite his 61 years of an opportunity to make a worthwhile contribution to humanity—counts the overfilling of the water glasses for CEOs as his crowning achievement.

That should do it.

The offer still stands for you to make a no-hard-feelings departure if you have doubts about where this Break a Rule project is headed. I can only promise that risks will be taken—not that any of them will work.

Still here, huh?

Well then, you must whole-heartedly believe that risk is an essential ingredient on your own path to success, and also fully accept that it may lead to the complete ruin of your reputation, (nobody knows which will come first).

But guess what that means?

You actually have to practice risk-taking in your life.

I admit, sometimes entertaining new ideas in the form of reading about them is a useful way of seeding new action—eventually I mean, not right now of course, but at a time when you might have a minute, to maybe, kind of, take a small step in the direction of, sort of, trying something new, ya know, like if, and when, you feel like it.

But here’s what is 3162% better.

Establishing the habit of playing, experimenting, and discovering more in your life by consistently taking small risks.

Because all of us have a little “stop gremlin” 😈 inside of us that is always going to throw a slimy, wriggling, stop reason 🛑 at our brain the moment we consider acting on something that feels a little risky.

You know, like the time you found the toothpaste cap sitting next to the tube long after your beloved had left the bathroom and you considered just replacing it without saying anything, and then the stop gremlin screamed inside your head, “Wait, you might DIE if you don’t remind them immediately that the toothpaste cap must be immediately replaced at all times!”

And then you complied.

And pretty much that gremlin is running our lives by unconsciously causing us to build our lives around rule-bound behavior that makes us feel safe, but also perpetuates the small results we’ve been stuck with for so long.

Break a Rule is a consistent invitation for you to prioritize micro-dares in your life.

We’re talking playful planned peril.

And I’m making it super easy for you by supplying 7 challenges below, one of which is perfectly suited to where you’re at in your growth journey. (Which you can discover by taking the Risk Finder Quiz.)

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Communication Is a Perpetually Rotting Bridge🐊

Speaking of “playful planned peril” — let’s talk about marriage.

You don’t have to be actually legally married to another person to consider this, because we all have at least a few metaphorical marriages—relationships with other humans that involve a degree of commitment.

My wife and I were recently on an African safari trip where our tour guide abandoned us in the middle of the jungle, forcing us to tip-toe our way over a rotting suspension bridge that was dangling over an alligator infested river.

Okay wait, I’m wrong.

We were actually just sitting in the living room.

But we were attempting to have a reasonable adult conversation about who should put the dishes away, who is bearing the brunt of homeschooling our kid, and why dust-balls the size of Massachusetts remain invisible to me.

It just felt like we were precariously dangling over blood-thirsty reptiles.

After 19 years of marriage it’s still not easy for me to break the rule “Stay in Control” in order to actually listen to the experience of my partner, refrain from preparing my next sentence while she’s speaking, and openly consider that an alien being might not have taken over her logic center in the middle of the night.

In times like these, I make a bee-line for a simple practice, like Give Up Your Rights, (challenge # 2) for breaking the rule “Stay in Control.”

In our conversation I found myself inwardly complaining that my partner doesn’t see all the things I do for our family, and I was ready and eager to provide numerous examples to back up my claim so I could be RIGHT about that, and . . .

Well, I won’t bore you with the details, since being right is never something you’d personally put in the way of connecting vulnerably with your partner. So just trust me when I say that it takes vigilance, attention, and practice to avoid becoming food for the crocodiles of one’s mind.

My point is that the communication bridge is always rotting.

The disintegrating planks of self-protection and emotional safety always need to be patched, repaired, and reinforced with authentic expression, honest self-awareness, and the willingness to risk being visible in our humanness.

And working on that bridge isn’t just relevant to our significant others.

It’s just as important to preserve human communication with your colleagues, customers, friends, and the Fiji-based call center agent who is inexplicably the person you must speak to as you attempt to book a local haircut.

This Week’s Challenges 🏋️‍♂️

Below are 7 unique risk-taking challenges that are designed to help you break each of the 7 rules.

If you haven’t already taken the Risk Finder Quiz, make sure you do that now so you’ll know which challenge will most benefit your growth.

Once you’ve identified your lowest scoring rule with the quiz, find that rule below and read the challenge.

And then, if you’re brave, actually take the risk.

Taking small-risk action is like investing in Bill Gates while he’s still playing around in his garage. The dividends you’ll eventually receive are going to be stratospheric.

But don’t delay.

These challenges will remain unlocked for this week only. Last week’s challenges are now behind the paywall for paying subscribers only.

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Here are the challenges:

Break the Rule Be Normal

Break the Rule Avoid Mistakes

Break the Rule Be Independent

Break the Rule Stay Comfortable

Break the Rule Pretend You Don’t Matter

Break the Rule Stay in Control

Break the Rule Be Popular

That’s it for now.

Let’s break some rules this week.

And don’t forget, leaving a comment on one of these challenges is itself a very useful risk. It helps you become more articulate and skilled in communicating about the risk-taking realm, and sends up a flair to like-minded professionals about where they can find another intelligent misbehaver.

Game On.

Rick

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BTW - If anyone you know is planning a business event and it’s sounding like it will be about as much fun as an arctic beach-party, send them my way.

You already get too many emails! 📧

You should only subscribe to this newsletter if you:

• Want inspiration for taking better and more frequent risks in your life.

• Want tailor-made challenges to grow your confidence and courage.

• Believe that worthwhile goals are only reached with a measure of risk.

You should unsubscribe if none of the above are true.

I am currently on a global tour, personally going door-to-door to reward my loyal subscribers with hugs, Perrier, and homemade fudge.

If you’re not loving this content it’s only going to be awkward for you and me both once I’m standing on your porch with these goodies.

So hit that unsubscribe button at the bottom unless you’re jazzed up about breaking the right rules and taking intelligent risks.

(Yes, I’m actually encouraging you to unsubscribe unless you’re a “hell yes” to Break a Rule.)

How to get fewer emails and better friends

Every single email you agree to receive should either:

• Be from someone you genuinely wish to stay in touch with.

• Contain useful information you intend to act upon.

• Inspire you to pursue or serve something you’re passionate about.

If NONE of the above apply, bravely unsubscribe from the sender.

If you’re overwhelmed by pointless emails, this is an example of a small simple risk you’ll benefit from taking.

If you’re overwhelmed by pointless friends—the same filters can be applied.

Who needs to take more risks? 🦥

You probably need more risk-taking in your life if you’re:

• Feeling stuck with relationships, work, your health, or financial status.

• Aware that you’re not rising to your highest potential.

• Older than 40 and still busing tables at minimum wage while living in your parent’s basement.

A rule I broke this week 💃

It required tremendous commitment and resolve to stay focused on writing this newsletter when I could have been outside instead, soaking up all six of our allotted annual hours of Pacific Northwest sunshine.

I could have followed the rule Stay Comfortable in our hammock, watching the entire touching Netflix documentary about the career of pop singer Lewis Capaldi—pausing only to pillage the cupboard for tasty kitchen snacks.

But instead, I sat here for hours by the blue-light of my fat-free computer crafting this masterpiece of inspiration for professional development which, once released, is sure to produce a global outcry of appreciation that will resound from rooftops around the world.

And now, before anyone has time to tell me I’m being grandiose and overly optimistic, here’s the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for.

This Week’s Challenges 🏋️‍♂️

Below are 7 unique risk-taking challenges that are designed to help you break each of the 7 rules.

If you haven’t already taken the Risk Finder Quiz, make sure you do that now so you’ll know which challenge will most benefit your growth.

Once you’ve identified your lowest scoring rule with the quiz, find that rule below and read the challenge.

Even just reading the challenge will plant a useful seed in your mind for the future.

If you read and take action on the challenge, however, your private victory will psychically embolden all the other rule breakers in the world.

Somewhere far away Tony Robbins himself will ask his masseuse to pause, lower the extra foamy latte he was somehow also drinking at the time, and mutter to himself “someone out there just made my day.”

But don’t delay.

These challenges will remain unlocked for this week only.

Next Monday they’ll go behind the paywall for paying subscribers only.

Here they are:

Break the Rule Be Normal

Break the Rule Avoid Mistakes

Break the Rule Be Independent

Break the Rule Stay Comfortable

Break the Rule Pretend You Don’t Matter

Break the Rule Stay in Control

Break the Rule Be Popular

That’s a wrap my good rule breakers.

Have a misbehavin’ week.

And don’t forget, leaving a comment on one of these challenges about how it went for you will empower everyone to take a leap. It will also mean that I’ll also be bringing extra fudge to your doorstep when I come for my visit.

Game On.

Rick

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(Okay, it wasn’t all work this week, I did get outside for a few gorgeous bike rides on the beach here in Vancouver. )

I hope your long weekend was full of unconventional refueling and fun.

I’m here to fulfill my promise to every Break a Rule subscriber.

To help you take one new intelligent risk this week.

More on this in the newsletter, but first.

Meet Your Community

I wanted to take a minute to let you know that as a subscriber you’re surrounded by some seriously talented and growth-focused pros.

Break a Rule launched a few months ago and I’ve made sign-up available to all guests of my corporate speaking gigs in the last few months.

So far, that’s 633 subscribers which includes professionals who are associated with:

Gambino Realtors - Rockford, Illinois.

Independent Insurance Agents of Houston - Houston, TX obviously

Aya Healthcare - A travel nursing agency based in San Diego, Ca.

Credit Union West - Based in Arizona.

Maine Asphalt Pavement Association - Augusta, Maine

Pacific Interstate Insurance Brokers - Eldorado Hills, CA

Rocky Mountain Association for Financial Professionals - Littleton, CO

Merrill Gardens Senior Living - Seattle, WA

Additionally, I’ve made some incredible friends from an online writing course that I initially took in the fall and I just repeated.

So some new subscribers are coming from there.

Write of Passage - Austin, TX

And finally we have new individual subscribers from the Substack network.

Welcome to you all.

My plan is structure Break a Rule in a way that allows you to start benefiting from each other’s risk-taking courage, professional spirit, dedication to growth, and sense of humor!

Subscribe now

The Break a Rule Promise

For a long time I’ve wanted to create a way for individuals with a passion for growth to use the Break a Rule model for ongoing professional development as a follow up to my corporate presentations.

The problem has been, there are too many benefits that come from engaging with the Break a Rule model.

I’ve been guilty of making things too complicated and not being clear enough about what is being offered here.

Here’s my current simplified promise.

The Promise

I’ll help you take one new intelligent risk every week.

Intelligent risks are fundamentally important for professional growth, career success, meaningful work, and a fulfilling life.

And yet, humans are risk-averse by default.

That means, without making an intentional effort, risk-averse behavior will win, and we won’t get to live our best personal and professional lives.

I see Break a Rule as a tool and community where together we can:

• Keep the value of intelligent risk in our attention.

• Train ourselves to see opportunities for intelligent risk in our lives.

• Grow our courage for acting on those opportunities.

• Celebrate our risk-taking wins and progress.

We’ll do it through the simple commitment to take one new intelligent risk every week.

I’d love to hear from you—are you engaged by that vision?

The Break a Rule Success Path

With a clear focus in hand, the next step is clearly define the method of follow through.

How will we take one new intelligent risk every week?

Here’s my current roadmap for how it can happen.

STEP 1 -

Take the Risk-Finder Quiz

You only need to take this step once every few months or so, but it’s a more important step than many people realize.

If you signed up during one of my speaking presentations, you’ve probably already taken the quiz. If you’ve forgotten or misplaced your results, please take the quiz again. And if you’re new to Break a Rule, taking the quiz should be what you do next.

A good friend of mine recently pointed out to me that the quiz leverages the Pareto Principle (the 80/20 rule).

What you find out when you take the quiz is which of the 7 rules you’ll most benefit from breaking.

In other words, you discover which 14% of all possible growth actions are going to be most beneficial to take a risk on. The other 86% you can stop worrying about.

The 14% you focus on is going to bring 86% of the results you are looking for in terms of success, growth, and fulfillment. (Roughly, the 80/20 rule.)

Cool, huh?

STEP 2 -

Consult the Challenge Library

Once you have your quiz result, you’ll know which rule to focus on breaking, and you’ll find risks to take in the challenge library that correspond to your rule of focus.

The Challenge Library is where you’ll go to select a risk action to focus on for the week.

I have 350 challenges on my hard-drive, already researched, created, and written. They just need to be loaded into the challenge library. This is time intensive and my plan is to add another 7 challenges (1 for each rule category) every week for the rest of the year.

So each week, you’ll have access to a new risk-taking challenge.

If you’re a paid subscriber, you’ll have perpetual access to the whole library.

As a free subscriber, you’ll be able to access the newly posted challenges for one week before they’re gated behind the library paywall.

There are currently three sample challenges in the library for each of the 7 challenge stacks, and those will remain freely accessible.

The first set of new challenges will be posted in the next few days. I’ll send another announcement when they’re up.

STEP 3 -

Take the Risk

This is it.

Where the rubber meets the road.

Did I mention you actually have to TAKE the risk?

The beauty of this is that you can take any version of the challenge and it still counts. As long as you are stretching a little outside of your comfort zone, you’ll be building the capacity for engaging in an area of your life that has tended to be a weakness in the past.

That’s all that matters.

If you stretch a little each week, over time, you’ll see incredible results in your life.

STEP 4 -

Share with the Community

You might be tempted to skip this step, but we’ll all be missing out if you do.

The step is to talk about your experience of taking your risk.

To do this, just go back to the challenge you choose at the beginning of the week in the challenge library and leave a comment on that post about how your risk-taking practice went.

Even if you completely failed to engage it, sharing that in public to the rest of the community inspires accountability for all of us. It’s a reminder that we’re committed to this practice, even if we don’t always check the box.

I’m going to add another section here to the weekly newsletter once we have engagement to share some of these comments. I’ll call it something like Weekly Heroes.

Chiming in will be hugely beneficial to both you and the community. It’s how you can start conversations and making connections with other like-minded pros here.

The trick at the beginning will be having the courage to go first and get the ball rolling.

Ready to take the risk?

THIS WEEK’S STORY

I’m really proud of this article which is about a humorist that I’ve idolized for years named Dave Barry.

I wrote this tribute to him, because Dave is a perfect example of what I call an Intelligent Misbehaver, willing to break social rules to offer something exceptional to the world.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry.

Enjoy the article!

Would You Buy This?

Here’s an idea I’m playing with.

I have lots of crazy ideas for entrepreneurial ventures and businesses, most of which are too ambitious to follow through with.

But I also have simpler ideas from time to time, and I thought I’d start sharing some of them to get your frank and honest feedback about their potential.

First up, this T-shirt below.

Most of you are here because you met me abusing you and your table mates at a conference.

I have this idea to sell T-shirts after my speaking presentations that look like this.

What do you think?

Would you buy this?

$20.00 cash, 100% cotton, all sizes available, back of the room sale after my speaking presentations.

I’m not trying to sell you this now!

Just want your feedback.

: )

Keep Your Eye Out (what a weird saying that is)

But I still want you do keep an eye on your inbox for this week’s fresh and new challenges that you’ll be able to use to . . .

TAKE ONE NEW INTELLIGENT RISK THIS WEEK!

Until then,

Rick

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There are two things that are really sad.

Sad thing number one:

The only way you can successfully tell stupid people they’re stupid is to make them laugh while you’re doing it.

Sad thing number two:

We’re all partly stupid.

Ok, wait . . . 

There’s a sad thing number three:

We’ve pretty much left the entire job of exposing stupidity to Dave Barry.

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Dave is an outspoken comedian and brilliant writer who over the last 50 years has used the role of humorist to comment on the breadth of American ignorance, which, like the hole in the ozone layer, has been rapidly expanding for a while now.

Dave Barry is a legend to his fans for shouldering the responsibility of finding a way to make us laugh about the flawed, and yet repeatedly occurring phenomena of:

Beer -

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.”

Men - 

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

Government -

“We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.”

Recreational Sports -

“Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.”

& Camping -

“It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.”

Okay, to be accurate, Dave talks about a lot of other topics, presumably restricted to anything he can make fun of using low-brow humor on any given day.

But don’t be fooled.

Being a humor writer actually requires a high level of intelligence, a deep understanding of people, and a profound aversion to doing research.

Dave exhibits all of these in his writing.

To be an exceptional humorist like Dave requires a unique combination of traits.

You must be:

• Deeply alarmed by the waking-sleep that humans call their day-to-day lives.

• Really mad that people permit themselves to act this way.

• Really scared by the prospect of waking them up.

In Dave’s words,

“The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.”

Humor is a method of jarring human beings out of their sleep that the brain perceives as being pleasant rather than just rude, insensitive, or life threatening—sort of the equivalent of a public stoning if you were to use scoops of ice cream instead of rocks. “Hey, that’s not nice . . . wait a second . . . does anyone have a spoon?”

So you see, Dave Barry, along with many other comedians before him, is skillfully participating in the time-honored tradition of calling humans morons without being crucified for it.

The skill of this is not to be underrated. We all should be extremely grateful that people like Dave devote their waking hours and brain cells to finding humorous ways to remind us that we are tragically flawed creatures who could use laughter to slow the demise of our species.

For an introduction to the sobering wit of Dave Barry, I recommend his annual reviews in the Washington Post that he has written since 1989, which you can find by typing “Dave Barry annual review Washington Post” into your computer. Alternatively the words, “This is tragic, why am I laughing at this,” may be equally effective as a search term.

Dave is a legend to his fans. In fact, the mere mention of Dave Barry’s name to a writer friend prompted the immediate reflection that her family was “spared death by familicide on road trips in our poo-brown Ford Taurus wagon, all because the backseat was littered with Dave Barry books which we laughed our asses-off reading.”

But what if you’ve never heard of this guy?

There are three reasons you may not know who Dave Barry is:

1. You’re less than 12 years old.

2. Your sense of humor was accidentally removed in a previously botched surgery.

3. You tend to steer clear of people who equate the level of your intelligence with jumbo shrimp.

But never fear.

Here are a few facts to introduce you to this important, silly, and prolific Miami based writer whose essays inevitably contain some mention of squirrels.  

Barry’s writing career began in the 1970’s amidst the rising popularity of polyester, pet rocks, and lava lamps, all of which likely contributed to Dave’s journalistic instincts to ask intelligent probing questions, such as, “Have I landed on an alien planet?”

By the time he unofficially retired from his column work in the early 2000’s, Dave had created the equivalent of his own Library of Humor Congress—dozens upon dozens of fiction and nonfiction books, hundreds if not thousands of hilariously satirical articles, and the prospect of employment for some out-of-work bodyguard.

As a professional comedian who was working as a street juggler at the time, I took a particular delight and satisfaction in a well-wielded humor sword. In Barry’s words, humor is "a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge."

These may well have been the last serious words Dave ever spoke—which is not to say his derisive wit ever since has been less effective. If anything, even more so.

“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”

There are not many people I admire enough that I’d want to swap places and be them instead of myself. Dave Barry is as close as it gets for me.

As a tribute to Mr. Barry, who made me snort milk and Cheerios through my nose on numerous occasions as a teenager, I’m lifting facts from his Wikipedia page, determined to tell you about him in Dave Barry fashion. 

Here are 5 reasons I’ve always wanted to be Dave Barry

Reason # 1

Mr. Barry unapologetically exaggerated facts so we’d have access to the truth of our silliness. Despite his inaccuracies, Dave won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary as a writer in 1988. I was 26 at the time, making people laugh in public by throwing juggling balls in the air and then suggesting they should pay me for that. Dave and I were both supporting ourselves with humor, but Dave was making people laugh without having to get dressed (which I discovered as a street performer has the opposite effect of attracting an audience) and that was the first reason I wanted to be Dave Barry.

Reason # 2

Dave began his writing career in 1971 as a reporter, covering local government and civic events before getting promoted to City Editor. I wanted to be Dave Barry because City Editor sounded like the funnest job in the world. Who wouldn’t want to wander around town deleting dumb things people say, correcting poorly worded traffic signs, and simplifying restaurant menus? Admittedly, I may be misconstruing what a City Editor is. 

Reason # 3

Dave was born on July 3rd, 1947. I was born on July 2nd, 1961. Dave’s day is clearly the better day, being 24 hours closer to Independence Day, thereby granting him the exaggerated opportunity to write whatever the hell he wanted and to drink directly out of the orange juice bottle while working from home. Dave’s father was a Presbyterian minister, and in true independent fashion, Dave decided to be an atheist so he could make equal fun of all religions.

Reason # 4

When Barry’s first novel Big Trouble was published in 1999 it was picked up for release as a major motion picture and Barry earned the pleasure of making Stanley Tucci, Tim Allen, and Rene Russo say very silly things and apply their prodigious acting skills to making an absolutely absurd plot believable. Who wouldn’t want that kind of power?

Reason # 5

After presumably visiting the cities of Grand Forks, North Dakota, and East Grand Forks, Minnesota, Barry made fun of the destinations for calling themselves “Grand Cities.” In response, Grand Forks named a sewage pumping station after him in 2022. Barry traveled to attend the dedication ceremony and may or may not have christened the station with a bottle of Yellowtail Shiraz, known for its distinctive “strawberry jam combined with paint thinner” aroma.

Most of the above is true and actually shows up in Dave Barry’s listing in Wikipedia. Should you feel the need to fact check what parts of the above are true, you’re probably not a good candidate for enjoying Dave Barry.

In my opinion, to have caused any version of the above to appear and be reported in Wikipedia would, in and of itself, qualify as a life that was worth living. 

In Summary

Yes, Dave Barry is funny, but more than that, he’s offering us one last chance to take a good look at ourselves as a species and get a sense of humor about it. 

Despite the fact that remaining oblivious to our foolishness is good business for Dave Barry, I bet he’d be okay with losing his job in exchange for a planet that will be livable for his grandchildren.

Both Dave’s grandkids and our own are undoubtedly going to ask us if we knew about the many preventable problems that are currently looming over mankind and why we didn’t do anything.

It would be nice if, like Dave, we could all honestly say, “I tried.”

Dave Barry’s newest book is called Swamp Story is out now and you can order it here. (Not an affiliate link.)

And if you know Dave Barry, or know anyone who knows Dave Barry, or know anyone who knows anyone who knows Dave Barry, or know . . . um . . . you get the idea — please show Dave this essay so he can then decide to write me a long private letter telling me how happy and appreciated I made him feel and that he wants to invite me on a tour of his own personal swamp.

Thanks.

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I’m sharing this extra message with you today, but it’s not from me.

It’s a poem that was written by my 87-year-old father, edited by my 85-year-old mother, and it knocked my socks off. (Make sure you read the whole thing to the last line.)

Born in the 1930’s, my folks haven’t spent much time curating an online audience, but as a teacher and an editor, they’ve both done a fair bit of writing. They don’t have a platform to share content on, and having had this idea for a poem about mother’s day, I got a message from my mom, asking if I could help them figure out where this poem could be shared.

They don’t know this is going out to my own mailing list, but I’m going to share the link with them later today as a surprise.

If you’re moved by the poem, leave a comment.

It would mean a lot to my folks to know the message reached somebody today.

This Sunday we celebrate Mother’s Day, in case it’s slipped your mind.
The least you can do is send a card, appropriately rhymed.
And if, in addition, you wish to do the same as all your peers,
Send flowers or take Mom out to eat, just as you did last year.

The most flowers are sold on Mother’s Day, even more than on Easter.
It’s also restaurants’ biggest day, so take her out and feast her.
Mother’s Day wasn’t always marked by eating out and flowers.
It started as an anti-war protest in our nation’s darkest hour.

In 1870, post Civil War, Julia Howe appealed to mothers
To protest all violence and future wars, so brothers wouldn’t kill brothers.
The day was observed for many years with prayers and tears amply shed,
Primarily where the war had left the most men wounded or dead.

President Wilson, in 1914, declared observance of a day
To be known as Mother’s Day each year on the second Sunday in May.
Though its founders and supporters resisted commercialization,
In the 1930s Mother’s Day underwent a transformation.

A magazine for florists noted profit if the holiday were tied
To honoring mothers with flowers. It was a ploy worth being tried.
Are there any holidays left where nothing needs to be bought?
Whatever the meaning of the holiday, we buy because we ought.

Giving our precious time would be a more significant gift,
But both giver and receiver are afraid of creating a rift.
I suggest that on this Mother’s Day with your mother you confer.
Tell her the Mother’s Day history and ask what observance she would prefer.

Though Mother’s Day was founded to stop violence, blood and gore,
It’s easier to buy flowers than it is to stop a war.

-Richard Lewis

Thanks for being here & welcome to newsletter number 2

Breakarule.com is live!

And definitely a work in progress. There is so much work to do.

This week, I borrowed the time of a few generous friends to hop onto the site and let me watch over their shoulder via screen share so I could I see what it’s like for a new visitor to navigate the site.

I felt excited and confident, ready to watch them march along the exact path I’ve carefully designed as a user experience—and boy was I shocked!

They were all pretty much overwhelmed and lost within a few minutes.

So far, everyone has been intrigued by the overall concept, but I have a lot of work to do.

If you’re willing to stick around I promise to make it clear in time how you can most benefit from this site, which is both an assessment tool as well as a training platform, focused on one thing.

The practice of taking intelligent risks.

Our lives are just like this new project, a work in progress we have to be willing to share before it’s perfect, take the feedback, keep our sense of humor, and celebrate the process.

It’s the default of our human wiring to minimize risk. In many cases, this is super useful and exactly as it should be.

And yet, we routinely stop ourselves from engaging rich, vibrant, connected, and kick ass lives by letting the default pattern of seeking safety unconsciously sideline our full participation.

In a minute, I’ll share this week’s story, which is all about intentionally “losing our balance” in favor of growth.

Each week I’ll be:

• helping you overcome fear, overthinking, and paralysis (FOP) by taking intelligent risks

• sharing stories about taking risks and my adventures as a professional misbehaver

• posting new risk-taking challenges that correspond to your target rule.

The Risk Finder Quiz is how you find out which rule you’ll most benefit from breaking (your target rule). If you haven’t taken the quiz yet, or can’t remember which rule you should be breaking, you can access the quiz right here.

Take the Risk Finder Quiz

This Week’s Story

What Are the 7 Rules?

In case you need a quick introduction (or reminder) about what these 7 rules are.

This Week’s Challenges

Every week, I’ll be posting and sharing a new set of 7 rule breaking challenges so that no matter which rule you’re focused on breaking, you’ll have a new fun way to stretch a little outside of your comfort zone.

For these first 3 newsletters I’m directing straight to the Challenge Library, where you’ll be able to access three sample challenges, whether you’re a paid or free subscriber. After the third newsletter I’ll posting brand new challenges to the library (but behind the paywall) for paid subscribers.

That’s it for this week

But if you’re thinking to yourself,

I need to surround myself with people who are growth-focused intelligent misbehavers!

Then send this newsletter to a few friends and expand your growth community.

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Regards

Rick

A challenge that couldn’t be ignored

I was trying to get comfortable with the idea that I was about to walk off the roof out into empty space.

Dizzy with fear, I stood at the edge of the garage, peering over the leaf-filled gutter to the pavement sixteen feet below.

But I couldn’t make myself do it.

For obvious reasons—having to do with pesky urges about wanting to live and such.

But the thing was, I knew that I had to do this eventually. The prospect of meeting this challenge was too damn thrilling to pass up. “What challenge?”—you’re probably wondering.

Riding a unicycle that was taller than that garage.

Obsessed and overconfident

I was a 17-year-old athlete and daredevil. Obsessed with showing off in any way I could—I had mastered a six-foot-high unicycle and wanted a bigger one.

I scoured back issues of juggling, unicycling, and stunt magazines looking at ads for circus equipment without success. And then, by chance, a friend of my mother mentioned having seen a “giant” unicycle collecting dust in the garage of a neighbor.

This was too good to be true.

A kid like me had convinced his parents to order a custom-built, 12-foot-tall, unicycle. It was shipped to his home and he intended to ride it, but when the time came—he was too afraid to follow through.

Judging his fear, I knew I would be the one to tame the beast. I had this much confidence in my own confidence.

A meeting was arranged. I may not have even slept the night before. Finally laying eyes on it leaning up against the side of the kid’s garage—a freakish pole with a single skinny seat that hovered at the level of the black-shingle roof—my adrenals started priming my nervous system for the challenge.

Like a musician finding a perfect instrument, or a farm boy taking the reins of his own first horse, I walked up and finally took the dream machine into my hands. The jutting perch above my head was the Everest I was about to conquer. 

Cocky and assured, I followed the kid into his house, up to the second floor, out his bedroom window, and over to the roof of the garage, where the seat could be mounted.

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Unyielding terror

Oh . . . shit. 

I hadn’t expected the one-wheeled machine to look three times taller from above than it did from the ground.

Now I knew why the kid had bailed, and if I had any sense of my own, I would’ve traced my way back through his window, and down a sane set of stairs. 

But no. 

My judgment was impaired as I had been drinking excessive amounts of pride. 

All four of our parents were on the ground watching. I hemmed and hawed, shaking inside, pretending to survey angles and wind speed and such, but—in actuality—stalling.

Finally, as I managed to straddle the seat, one foot still on the roof, the other on one pedal of the monster, my head was now 16 feet above the cement.

Considering how to push off, catch my balance, and ride it down the concrete driveway—there was nothing but unyielding terror.

I don’t mean to get all Zen and the Art of Unicycle Maintenance on you, but unicycling is just like life.

Unicycling, as a process, can only occur under one circumstance.

While falling. 

The first thing you have to do on a unicycle is literally—fall off of it. 

It’s the commitment to being off-balance, leaning into the void, that grants you the privilege of movement as you pedal to catch up with where you’re going; attempting to restore the order of uprightness to your teetering form, but never quite succeeding.

Because the moment you succeed, the process stops. Once you’re in a safe and perfect equilibrium—your adventure comes to an end.

Balance, my friends, is overrated. 

And yet my brain clung to the security of balance like a marsupial to the belly of its mother; my mind creating a prison of safety that my spirit wanted to transcend.

There were long jagged cracks in the aging driveway. I imagined my body creating a new web of fissures upon my impact. I had to get a grip. I took a deep breath, trying to find an ember of excitement in the ashes of my dread. 

Minutes earlier, I’d pictured myself parading down the street with my head held high. If only I could find the courage to push off, I’d be in charge of my own flight, soaring over the ant-people who’d stand agape as I passed, awed by my bravery and skill.

As with all dreams passionately pursued, I had reached the moment of maximum tension—like before the writer hits publish, before the groom says “I do,” before a speaker takes the stage—where anything resembling control and balance must be sacrificed for entry into the hallowed halls of one’s future. Here I’d have to push my way over a last hard edge with the grit of my own resolve, without a final affirmation or guarantee—of anything—and commit to the fall.

The more I thought about it, the worse the shaking in my body was going to get, eventually compromising my motor system beyond hope of meeting the challenge. So, in a final act of blind faith, I pushed off the roof and into the void. 

Where is your edge?

As it turned out, it wasn’t a tall unicycle I had to tame. It was my own mind. I learned it’s not pride or bravado that fuels our dreams, but the willingness to shake and tremble in the dark end of a tunnel as we grope our way toward a distant light.

Earning the capacity to ride this beast was a rite of passage that changed my life, opening unimaginable doors that led over time to world travel as a performer and corporate speaker.

I found ways to re-stage the thrill of that moment, mounting the unicycle in public street shows and corporate events on the backs and shoulders of volunteers; even performing it once in a thunderstorm. The routine thrilled tourists, children, locals, lawyers, bankers, and the hungry homeless without distinction—because this wasn’t just a moment in a circus show. It was a story about what each of us do at the edge of ourselves, and how we meet our own challenges and risks.

And what about you? To be human is to stand on the edge of some next brave and beckoning step. Where is your edge right now? 

Are you happily out of balance, or suffering the safety of some familiar stability? What door do you long to walk through, and yet still to this day know only the unopened side?

With a little practice you’ll find innumerable ways to unlock hidden blessings with the sacrifice of your balance. You’ll know the moment when it arrives.

Just waiting for your child to tie his shoes at his own pace without rushing him along, asking a new friend for help, or cooking a meal that feels beyond your skill might be how you lean beyond mediocrity and tease the waiting magic out of an ordinary day.

Who knows what adventure you might unleash? 

Perhaps you’ll even leave the safety of your anonymity and risk sharing your thoughts with an author who is crazy enough to jump off a roof.

Go ahead.

Lose your balance.

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You’re receiving this because you signed up to take the Risk Finder Quiz after having your water glass rudely overfilled by a bad waiter . . .

Or, you stumbled on Break a Rule directly and thought to yourself, “Damn this is cool!”

Either way, welcome.

Each week I’ll be:

• helping you overcome fear, overthinking, and paralysis (FOP) by taking intelligent risks

• sharing stories about my adventures as a professional misbehaver

• posting new risk-taking challenges that correspond to the rule you’ll most benefit from breaking.

If you haven’t taken the Risk Finder Quiz, or can’t remember which rule you should be breaking, you can take the quiz again right here.

Take the Risk Finder Quiz

This Week’s Story

(There are some really fun hidden camera photos in this story featuring guests who have been at some of my events. If you find yourself showing up here and want your picture removed, just let me know!)

What’s Wrong With You?

“What’s wrong with you?” is the question I’m most frequently asked as a speaker and professional development consultant—but not out loud.

Crisp white-linen table cloths, precisely folded napkins, spotless cutlery, and a fresh ocean breeze drifting in through the french doors that open onto a stunning view of the Pacific ocean. It all provided the perfect backdrop for what I was hired to do at this corporate event.

Challenge expectations.

Inside the Hotel del Coronado resort in San Diego California, a well-groomed corporate executive reflexively backed up in his chair as I made my way around his table and shoved a packet of Sweet and Low into each of the guest’s mashed potatoes. 

Not quite the impeccable service he anticipated.

I purposefully ignored the prolonged stares of each person as they fished the sweetener out of their mound of potato puree and laid it aside. I also ignored those who attempted to signal they didn’t want the sweetener. 

Next, I’d start delivering rolls with a dinner fork.

I have a very unusual job.

I make my living posing as an inept, eccentric, and clumsy waiter at company meetings. It’s literally my profession to make people wonder how the hell I ever got my job and how I’m keeping it. 

I deliver professional development seminars to Fortune 500 companies, and my bad waiter routine is the lead in for the surprise unveiling of my true identity.

Despite my urge to eliminate the tension and immediately confess my ruse while I spread my incompetence, I remain firmly in flustered character through the usual three courses of the meal.

You see, they have no idea I’m about to become their keynote speaker. 

So, as I overfill their water glasses, vacuum beneath their feet mid-meal, and get down on my hands and knees to retrieve silverware I’ve dropped under the table—the question, “What’s wrong with you?” is psychically launched my way via expressions of disdain, disbelief, and incredulity.

I’ve been wordlessly berated hundreds of times within the span of a single hour. If you count moody glares and the involuntary emission of stress pheromones as means of communication, I’ve been asked, “What the hell is wrong with you?” ten-of-thousands of times over the course of my career.

Guests silently ask what’s wrong with me and then, just as unconsciously, answer the question in a way that suits their imagination. 

They’ll tell themselves a story about the medication I’m on or might have missed that day. Or they imagine I’m on a work release program, that I’m the nephew of the general manager, that I’m autistic, high, or just a disengaged jerk of an employee. 

Here’s what’s really wrong with me:

I’m a socially anxious introvert who gets nervous in crowds.

I lost my social confidence early on, perhaps because I got laughed off the playground when I was seven years old after a group of kids overheard me singing the national anthem to myself in a concrete stairwell.

Other personal traumatic encounters contributed to my fears and I discovered that performing was a way to stay in control of social circumstances.  

There is ample empirical evidence to show the human mind favors perceptions that ensure survival over those that foster tolerance, kindness, and compassion.

We assume a fumbling waiter is an idiot rather than wonder if he received the right training. Guests have confessed to planning their escape route from the meeting room after imagining that I’m part of a work-release program and routinely corner the banquet manager mid-meal to orchestrate my firing and preserve their sense of entitlement.

For over-filling a water glass.

Fortunately, once the ruse is revealed, 99.9 percent of those who have gotten their knickers in a twist are relieved to learn the truth, and they’re able to take it with the humor that’s intended. 

But my antics do serve a purpose:

To bring our unconscious reactivity into the foreground and engage it with more awareness.

It’s the very moment we’re able to catch ourselves wondering “what’s wrong” with a person, circumstance, situation, decision, system, or object that offers us direct insight into our own limitations, misperceptions, and opportunities for growth.

How I got what I deserved

I once gave a presentation to the British Columbia Roofing Association. 

After speaking, I exited the conference room into the lobby where I was scheduled to sign books for the guests once the meeting had adjourned.

A plate from lunch had been saved for me since I had been performing during the meal, and I managed a few bites while setting up for the book signing. 

When the attendees began streaming out of the ballroom I was overwhelmed with enthusiastic buyers and those anxious to regale me with their personal experience of the presentation. 

I was quite hungry, and barely had a chance to enjoy the delicious meal, so that plate of food was on my mind as these conversations lingered. 

“No worries,” I reminded myself, “Lunch will be there when this is done, and it’s going to taste so good.”

I looked over my shoulder to reassure myself of this fact, but as I did so, I saw that three contractors who’d been in the audience were now hunched over my plate—each with their own fork—relishing the last of my entree, salad, and dessert. 

My first reaction at the sight of this invasion of territory and property (my food!) was extreme annoyance and displeasure—duplicating the thousands of such moments I’d created for others.

There was no denying the beauty of this act of poetic justice, and witnessing my alarm only amplified the delight they took in the reverse punking. My distress quickly turned into appreciation for these men and how masterfully they had played in return.

The more we are able and willing to question exactly what it is we’re defending when we see judgment, annoyance, and reactivity arise in our awareness, the more we’ll be able to act with compassion and kindness—and foster innovation, creativity, and connection in the face of workplace challenges.

There’s nothing wrong with you if you react poorly to bad service at your next meal.

There’s also nothing wrong with your waiter. 

We’re all doing our best to cope with an upside-down world and the stresses and challenges of being human.

But the next time you find yourself in the midst of a judgment, criticism, or reaction to something that’s “wrong”—pause for a moment—and ask what would be an appropriate response if it were all just a piece of theater, designed to help you take the small stuff a little less seriously.

Rick Lewis
Professional Misbehaver

Why Break Rules?

This article goes into detail about why we need to break the hidden rules in our culture for professional success.

Break a Rule - Find Your Best Risks

Why Break Rules?

Influence, respect, and admiration isn't earned by playing it safe. You need to challenge old limits, take intelligent risks, & dare to be human. Today’s successful professionals have a unique vision, they follow they own path, and capitalize on their authentic voice and strengths…

Read more

3 years ago · Rick Lewis

This Week’s Challenges

If you’ve recently taken the Risk Finder Quiz and you know which rule you should be breaking, you can visit here each week to see a risk-taking challenge that will help you accelerate your growth and professional success.

See This Week's Challenges

That’s all for this week.

If you want more like this, stay tuned every Monday for the next newsletter.

If you don’t want stories, inspiration, and professional development research that supports the practice of taking intelligent risks, you can unsubscribe at any time.

Cheers

Rick

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