We all procrastinate. Culturally the way we define procrastination is that it’s a problem with starting things. Yet what if procrastination is more about a fear of completing things than it is a problem with starting them. When we complete something and it’s done we’re confronted by a host of illusions. We may think that achieving the thing will make us somehow happier or a better person. We may have the impression that we will feel a sense of accomplishment in relationship to a completed task or goal. Often what is attendant with completion, however, is a sense of emptiness. To admit or to actually feel that emptiness isn’t normal, so we try to fill the hole with more commitments and then tell ourselves that we don’t want to start, because that’s normal. It’s not normal, however, to fear completion. To be honest about such fear requires self-honesty and authenticity. It’s easier to just say “I’m lazy,” “I’m unmotivated,” or even, “I’m incapable,” than it is to say, “I’m scared about being with myself when I’m done.” “I’m scared of having nothing else on my list.” “I’m scared of how I’ll define myself if I actually get what I want.” “I’m scared of being able and powerful.” “I’m scared of the responsibility I’ll face if the world and I find out just how capable I am.” Today’s practice then is to make a list of the things you’re afraid to complete. Once you’ve made the list, share one of the things you’re afraid to complete with someone you trust.
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